1 John 4:17 Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. 

So I was digging through a couple of old notes from years back during a recent devotion time, I was struck by something the writer of the devotion said; He said, “You are defined by the Man at the Father’s Right Hand.”

Well, that man is obviously Jesus, and if any man be in Christ (That Man), he is a new creation. 

How does He then define us? 

Well, we become a new creation, and as you read that vs. further, we are also deemed to be the righteousness of God in “That Man.” Jesus Christ. 

This truth is helpful as we move toward today’s topic: Being the perfect lover. 

First, the 1 John verse tells us about love perfected… while navigating that text, I came across a survey of beautiful women from around the world that was conducted, and participants were asked, “What Does It Mean to be the Perfect Lover?” That research and consensus produced 4 items each woman desired the perfect lover to provide for them.

Emotional Safety:

Someone who creates a judgment-free zone that allows for total vulnerability, active listening, and open communication.

Authentic Confidence:

A secure partner who doesn’t feel intimidated by his partner’s success or looks, and who moves through life with self-assurance.

Consistent Effort: 

A man who treats love as an active verb, continuously pursuing his partner regardless of how long they have been together.

Mutual Independence:

Someone who supports his partner’s ambitions and personal space, while also having a rich, driven life and passions of his own.

That is it, nothing more; these four things? Jesus obviously created these women and therefore already has the cheat code to their desires. He also demonstrated them towards us in Spades. 

In 2 Corinthians 3:17, Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. 18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.

We too are capable of having these cheat codes because we are being transformed daily into the image of “That Man.”

So how does Jesus demonstrate these four traits of a Perfect Lover?

Emotional Safety:

John 3:17-18 NKJV

For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. 18 “He who believes in Him is not condemned….

Hebrews 10:16-17 NKJV

“This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, says the Lord: I will put My laws into their hearts, and in their minds I will write them,” 17 then He adds, “Their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.”

Authentic Confidence:

Matthew 4:10 NKJV

Then Jesus said to him, “Away with you, Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve.’ ” 

John 19:10-11 NKJV

Then Pilate said to Him, “Are You not speaking to me? Do You not know that I have power to crucify You, and power to release You?” 11 Jesus answered, “You could have no power at all against Me unless it had been given you from above. Therefore, the one who delivered Me to you has the greater sin.”

Consistent Effort: 

Psalm 23:6 NKJV

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever.

Revelation 3:20 NKJV

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.

Mutual Independence:

Philippians 4:19 NKJV

And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

3 John 1:2-4 NKJV

Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.  3 For I rejoiced greatly when brethren came and testified of the truth that is in you, just as you walk in the truth. 4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.

These are just a few of the many traits Jesus demonstrates toward us regularly. Yet, if we did indeed focus on these areas and determine in our hearts/minds that we would be more targeted in these areas for our wives and children… we may just prove to be the Perfect Lover Jesus is transforming us to be.

John 21:20-23 NKJV

Then Peter, turning around, saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following, who also had leaned on His breast at the supper, and said, “Lord, who is the one who betrays You?”  21 Peter, seeing him, said to Jesus, “But Lord, what about this man?” 22 Jesus said to him, “If I will that he remain till I come, what is that to you? You follow Me.” 23 Then this saying went out among the brethren that this disciple would not die. Yet Jesus did not say to him that he would not die, but, “If I will that he remain till I come, what is that to you?”

We find ourselves on the precipice of Jesus’ ascension back to heaven to forever be with our Father. He has done the miraculous, died on the cross for all of our sins, then on the third day, was raised from the dead to walk on earth another 40 days amongst His disciples. 

Jesus has just restored Peter following his denial. Jesus is even giving Peter clear insight into his future ministry and death. This honestly has to be one of the more impactful conversations Peter has ever had, which is why it was a bit off-putting when Peter started minding John’s business. 

The term “Mind Your Business” is an old English expression used to tell someone to stop asking about your personal life or meddling in affairs that do not concern them. This is ultimately what Jesus said to Peter, Jesus said to him, “If I will that he remain till I come, what is that to you? You follow Me.” Mind Your Business and Do What I Tell You To Do. 

This is a lesson we should all learn: stop worrying about what others are doing and focus on what the Lord asks of you. 

Peter and John would be two of the more prominent figures in the Church’s history. While God had special plans for Peter, like a sanguine person (a cheerfully optimistic, hopeful, or confident person, especially in difficult or bad situations), he was not worried about what other people were doing. It is very difficult to execute your mission when you’re busy thinking about others.

John 11:39 NKJV

Jesus said, “Take away the stone.” Martha, the sister of him who was dead, said to Him, “Lord, by this time there is a stench, for he has been dead four days.”

Jesus spent 33 years on this earth, and yet His impact is eternal. One of the things I love about Jesus’ words is that they either speak the truth, offer correction, offer encouragement, or prophesy. He would often speak of something that, later, the disciples would be able to look back on and connect to fulfilling Old Testament scripture or future revelation. 

Imagine what the disciples thought about after experiencing this incredible resurrection of Lazarus. Only to later see the stone sealing Jesus’s tomb rolled away. 

I don’t believe this prophetic word from Jesus was the last time we would experience life brought from the dead. The stone represents a barrier separating life and death. 

There are dead things in our lives that need the stone rolled away. Whether something dead in your life is physical (is your body failing), relational (have your closest relationships withered away), emotional (are your dreams dying), or spiritual (has your walk with the Lord been negatively impacted), Jesus is giving us a command today: “Take away the stone.” Listen to Jesus and take it away. However, before we do…what is the significance of the stone? 

When you look up the Greek word for stone, it seems pretty normal. It means a stone, one stone, a stumbling stone, or a millstone. Each of those makes sense. Then a curveball was thrown; the definition goes on to say that it is a metaphor of Christ. Wait what? Of course, “The stone which the builders rejected has become the chief cornerstone?” 

So then why do we want to Take away the stone? Because when He goes, it’s not to leave us but to become one with us. John 16:7 Nevertheless, I tell you the truth. It is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you; but if I depart, I will send Him to you.

Jesus is both commanding the dead things in our lives to come alive, while positioning Himself closer to us for our safety and direction. He knows the plans that He has given us (nobody else does, not even ourselves), and He also knows our future (He is already there at the end with us). So trust Him, hear Him, and follow Him. That is when we will see His restoration of those areas of our lives that are dying, dreams resurrected, relationships renewed, and burning hearts filled with His Word. 

John 3:19-21 NKJV

And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. 20 For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. 21 But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.”

Now I know that Romans 8:1 states: There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. These are words that I live by and constantly hold onto because the enemy will often try to send you down his condemnation trail. However, I was intrigued when, in John 3, I came across these verses. 

Jesus is somewhat defining condemnation; it is pretty interesting. So what is condemnation? This is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.

This is pretty telling and makes so much sense. This is a pretty familiar chapter; after all, John 3:16 is in this chapter, and it also has verses 17 and 18. God didn’t send Jesus to condemn the world, but to save them. However, he who does not believe in Jesus is condemned already. So condemnation is clearly based on your belief in Jesus Christ as the Son of God, who died for our sins and was raised from the dead. Jesus is the light, and those in darkness do not believe in the light. Jesus said that the men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. 

Therefore, we can only be condemned when we don’t receive Jesus as Lord. Henceforth, the devil will constantly try to get us to question our salvation, God’s forgiveness, or our righteousness through Christ. So stand firm in your belief in Jesus, and any voice you hear contrary to that can only be one, satan’s deception. And remember, Romans 8:1 states: There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.

Additional Verses:

John 3:17-18 NKJV

For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.  18 “He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

Luke 7:11-17 NKJV

Now it happened, the day after, that He went into a city called Nain; and many of His disciples went with Him, and a large crowd.  12 And when He came near the gate of the city, behold, a dead man was being carried out, the only son of his mother; and she was a widow. And a large crowd from the city was with her.

It was just another day, and yet another miracle for Jesus to show the power of God. Yet the difference in this particular miracle is that I think it hits so close to home for many. What do you do when you’re in a beautiful place but carrying something dead? 

That is the situation where we find the widow in this story. The background is a small village called Nain, which means “Beauty” in Hebrew. Nain is located about 8 miles southeast of Nazareth in the lower Galilee. This village sits on the northwest slope of Givat Hamoreh (or Little Hermon), overlooking the Plain of Jezreel and facing Mount Tabor. It just sounds beautiful. However, it was not beautiful that day, because this widow was in tears as she was now burying her son (behold, a dead man was being carried out, the only son of his mother; and she was a widow). She had already lost her husband; now it was her only son. Her family was no longer; it was only her now. That is devastating, and when we are devastated, Jesus shows compassion. When the Lord saw her, He had compassion on her and said to her, “Do not weep.”

Jesus showed compassion and encouragement. He did not stop there. Then he came and touched the open coffin. Jesus brought restoration to this woman’s situation. He resurrected her family, when everything to that point had died (So he who was dead sat up and began to speak. And He presented him to his mother). 

All this was done so that we can know and believe that anything dead in our lives, Jesus can/desires to resurrect our dead circumstances. If you are feeling alone, let this story inspire you that regardless of what we feel, Jesus sees us, has compassion and acts on our behalf, because of how much He loves us.

Luke 1:18

“And Zacharias said to the angel, “How shall I know this? For I am an old man, and my wife is well advanced in years.”

‭‭Luke‬ ‭1‬:‭34‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

“Then Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I do not know a man?”

Has the Holy Spirit ever told you something and your immediate response was “How Shall I Know?” OK, you probably wouldn’t use King James English, but maybe 

1. “How do I know?”

2. “How is that supposed to happen?”

3. “How can I tell?”

You get the gist: God tells you something incredible, and we immediately question it because we’ve probably never seen it happen before. Seems fairly reasonable, right?? So then, why did Zachariah go mute and was scolded, while Mary was encouraged and given an answer?

Was it because Zacharias was well advanced in years and Mary was a child? Maybe because Zacharias was a priest and Mary was a young virgin? Maybe it was just that Zacharias was trying to comprehend God using his own knowledge/understanding (the word know means to know, understand, perceive, have knowledge of), and was making sense of it in his vast wisdom, not appreciating that Gabriel the Archangel was speaking directly from God. While Mary was only asking about the physical process because she figured her body couldn’t do it, her limitation was. 

The truth is, I don’t know. Wish I did, but I don’t. 

Here is what I will offer: sometimes the Lord will protect us from ourselves. The power of life and death is in the tongue, and Zacharias may have killed this miracle by speaking negatively, walking in doubt, or disbelieving because he could not wrap his mind around this. Sure, he could have remembered Abraham and Sarah, but he was still unable to believe it could happen to them. However, when Gabriel made him mute, he was now experiencing the power, and maybe it was more believable. Regardless, we should be mindful of both situations. When God speaks to us about the incredible miracle He will bring forth in our lives, let’s remember His power, His promise, and His person (He loves you). He will bring it to pass; you don’t have to be mute to believe Him. 

Matthew 3:17 NKJV

And suddenly a voice came from heaven, saying, “This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.”

God demonstrated everything we need to know about being a great Father in this one small verse. He did three incredible things in these eleven priceless words. 

The last two days have been very impactful to me as a Father. It began Sunday morning when Pastor Joseph Prince shared a revelation that I had never associated with a scripture, which I will show you later. Then last night I had a chance to reminisce with my oldest Son about my father, who passed away before he ever got a chance to know him. And to know my Dad was to love him. Not so much that he was the epitome of a father, far from it, but that he was always authentically himself, whether you liked it or not.

Those two things help me really appreciate this text. Jesus was entering the ministry for which He was sent here. Here our Lord, the son of the Most High God, came to earth to fulfill a purpose that would eventually set us all free. Now, that task would not begin until he turned 30. So he dwelled here for 30 years before doing anything associated with the reason He was sent (a whole other sermon, some other time). Yet now, the time has finally come. Is it time to get started? That is where God steps in.

1. God Affirms His Child: The word Affirm is a verb meaning to state something positively, assert as true, or confirm/ratify a judgment. It is used to express strong confidence in a fact, uphold a lower court’s decision, or make a solemn declaration. God takes possession of His son in a day and age where a “fatherless child” is very often the norm. God is letting His son know: I take possession; I gladly accept ownership; You are indeed (let there be absolutely no doubt) my child. But God does not stop there; He lets Jesus know that He is loved. The word ” beloved ” means dearly loved, cherished, or held in high affection. God let His child know that He is cherished, appreciated, precious, and special. What child does not want to know that they are beloved? But God didn’t stop there; He let Jesus know that He is well-pleased with Him. The term means being very happy, highly satisfied, or expressing high approval of a person. Affirmation at its very highest. God affirms His Child, letting Him know that He is His, He is loved, and He is approved. That should be every father’s goal, because it is every child’s need.
2. God affirms His Child without any performance attached: Before Jesus does anything associated with His purpose for being sent, God affirms Him. God did not wait until Jesus died on the cross for all of our sins to affirm Him. God the Father’s affirmation came with no strings attached. Jesus did not have to perform in order to be approved by God, loved by Him, or cherished. Oh, how I want to be cherished; someone deeply loved, valued, and nurtured with affection and tender care. What person does not want to feel that from their loved ones? And Jesus did, without having any performance attached to it. What this affirmation does is instill a sense of self-worth, resilience, and confidence. This is empowering, as seen when Jesus was led to the wilderness and tempted by Satan. Satan attempted two things to trick Jesus, and they are very similar in how he attacks us. He questioned Jesus’ identity and tried to get him to tie his performance to his worth. “If You are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread.” If you are the Son of God, question His identity and remove the word beloved, which is how God affirmed Him—also, telling Jesus to turn the stones into bread to prove His sonship. Satan often tries to steal our identity and kill our understanding of God’s love by tying it to our performance. 
3. God Affirms His Child publicly: God affirmed His Son in public, in front of everyone. There is something to be said about a father affirming his son in public. Although the people could not hear what God said, they heard thunder and knew that it was God. I imagine a scene at a local baseball field, where a young kid strikes out and loses the game. The kid is sad and dejected, barely able to lift their head. Then the father comes over, bends down, and begins speaking directly to his child. We cannot hear what he says, but the child’s head immediately rises, a big smile comes to their face, and they have a completely different countenance. Does it matter what was said? No!! What matters is that the kid was affirmed, and it changed everything. 

God affirmed Jesus publicly with no strings attached. The truth we need to take from this is: 

1 John 4:17 NKJV

Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment, because as He is, so are we in this world.

Just as Jesus is, so are we in this world. Just as God affirms Jesus, so are we in this world. Just as Jesus is well-pleased (God), so are we in this world. Let’s learn from God our Father. Affirm those you love, and be open to receive affirmation from others.