Category Archives: Self Care

That’s the Way Love Goes

Family Ministry, God Loves You, Self Care, Spiritual Food, , , , , ,

1 John 4:17-19 NKJV Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. 19 We love Him because He first loved us.

OK so I guess I was having a Pastor Jamal Bryant moment with the title choice today (Pastor Bryant is known for his very provocative sermon titles).  However, when I read these three verses, and read them together it was the first thing that popped into my mind.  Why?

Maybe it was because it’s the title of a song that somewhat redefined Janet Jackson’s entire singing career.  That song and that album turned Janet from an international singing super star, who had just rose from under the shadow of her famous brother, to a global sensation and sex symbol who had now put herself among the same plan as her brother because she had displayed a new side of herself that no had ever expected.  WHAT??  Then why would I see John’s words and think of this secular star.  

One my brain could be a little warped and these three verses are considered the Consummation of Love; that word consummation means the completion, achievement, attainment, execution or conclusion of love.  It denotes the action of making a marriage or relationship complete by having sexual intercourse. The completion of the covenant. Just as this song and album completes Janet’s quest to become a global phenomenon this section of scripture consummated Jesus’ Love Toward Us when HE died on the cross for our sins.

The crazy thing is this; each of these verses have been preached, taught, meditated on and had entire conferences centered around them.  But when you read them together.  It just makes everything Crystal Clear!!!  

Love Consummated (or perfected)

  1. Perfect Oneness-(The Two Become One): Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world.  
  2. Perfect Security: There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.
  3. Perfect Pursuit: We love Him because He first loved us.

This radically changes how you see a relationship.  Because our relationship with God was perfected the minute He had Jesus come to earth to live and give His life so that we all would be able to be loved.  Jesus made it possible for God to truly demonstrate His love for us.  The cross allowed us to become one with Jesus and be seated at the right hand of God.  Because of His sacrifice, sin which kept us apart from God was destroyed, removed as a barrier to Him.  Now He could pour out His great love toward us like never before.  We were able to literally become One with God (John 17:22 NKJV And the glory which You gave Me I have given them, that they may be one just as We are one).   

Next we understand the true Security of His love for us.  To be secure is the be safe, have a feeling of safety or even the constant state of being protected against any danger or threat.  Being secure, stable, firm in your place.  I just looked up the three biggest fears of mankind and they are; death, abandonment, and failure.  Man, O could cry crocodile tears right there because that is the way the devil (our enemy) comes at me damn near every day.  Death, he is always reminding me of when my father and grandfather died so why do you think you will live to much longer; showing me a ton of people dying in and around that age.  Then he attacks with abandonment, being isolated loosing relationship focusing on how everyone around me wants nothing to do with me, I’d they had their choice they would be somewhere or be with someone else.  Always pushing me towards isolation.  Let me tell you first hand for a people person that sucks… Yet, let me also tell you what God says to us (Hebrews 13:5 NKJV…For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”) Jesus died on the Crosss and was resurrected to the Father, He never abandoned us but gave us Forever Help (John 15:26 NKJV “But when the Helper comes, whom I shall send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who proceeds from the Father, He will testify of Me).  We are not alone….

Then lastly, that failure attack!! It is a non-stop attempt to minimize any accomplishment, overemphasize or stress any setback or unmet goal.  It literally diminished almost any success and makes the world come crashing down with any and every inevitable missed opportunity, problem, or unmet expectation.  I see this every single day as a business owner.  It becomes so hard to celebrate the small victories because of the constant thought of one dropped ball bring the whole thing crashing down.  However, when I find myself here I have to recall Jesus’ perfect love which gives me the option to cast all of these cares on Him (1 Peter 5:6-7 NKJV Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, 7 casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you).  A big part of God’s perfected love is that He does not force anything, this then causes us to submit ourselves to be loved.  You have to humble you to give all of this stuff in us to God.  When we won’t humble ourselves and allow Him to love us we hold on to the fear of abandonment afraid that if we give it He may decide it’s too much and leave as well not accepting the fact that He cares for you.  His care for us loves the mess out of us.  

God came after us, it was a full out Pursuit.  God chased us down.  To show us why we needed him (the Law; wages of sin); to demonstrate true love (that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us) and lastly giving us blessed assurance (John 16:33 NKJV These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”) He has paved the way for us to overcome and He has made a place with Him forever (John 14:2-3 NKJV  In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also).  When we were pursued in the manner that God pursued each of us we cannot help but be loved and then return that love (because He first loved us). 

We need this Love, but the majority of the world does not accept it and they look for it everywhere else.  

But you know what….That’s the Way Love Goes.  

A Touchless Society

Emotional, Family Ministry, God Loves You, Self Care, Spiritual Food, , , , ,

The Modern Day Leper

Mark 1:41 Then Jesus, moved with compassion, stretched out His hand and touched him, and said to him, “I am willing; be cleansed.”

We live in a day of Touchless Technology.  This technology is used in numerous settings, including restaurants, stores, schools, and was especially vital during COVID.  It allows us to interact with devices and systems without physical contact and was implemented to reduce the spread of germs and viruses.  However, we never returned to interacting with each other.  I believe that while the effects of  COVID increased this trend of usage for safety, today it is used more for convenience, than anything else.  We seem to be looking for convenient ways not to have anything to do with other people.  Sad Right; yet I believe that many people enjoy the isolation. 

Leviticus 13:50 The priest shall examine the plague and isolate that which has the plague seven days.

Isolate: to shut, to close, to be shut up.  

The definition is interesting; shut, closed and be silenced.  Isolation is physically shutting you up and shutting up the community around you.  In isolation the enemy’s voice often becomes the loudest, and in isolation we remove our access to some essential needs.  

What needs: of the top 5 things that are documented as critical needs for a newborn, like being fed, good hygiene, and safety, is the Parental or Caregiver’s affection and interaction.  The affection and interaction include holding, cuddling, talking to, and responding to the baby’s needs; each are vital for the emotional well-being of the child.  Well just like for the baby, Affection is very important to us as children and adults; it contributes significantly to our sense of well-being, connection, and a feeling of being loved.  This need of emotional and physical intimacy through affectionate touch, hugs, kisses, and words of affirmation are key to grown people feeling secure and valued in a relationship.

Leviticus 13:45-46 “Now the leper on whom the sore is, his clothes shall be torn and his head bare; and he shall cover his mustache, and cry, ‘Unclean! Unclean!’  46 He shall be unclean. All the days he has the sore he shall be unclean. He is unclean, and he shall dwell alone; his dwelling shall be outside the camp.

So imagine this leper who is coming to Jesus; this man’s body is literally deteriorating before him.  Not only the physical pain in his body; but the emotional pain of utter neglect had to be excruciating.  A Middle Aged man in Jesus’ day would be married with a pretty large family. So you would have to think that this man had been isolated from the city, from his neighbors, from his wife and from his kids.  Yet not only isolated from them, the very ones who loved him.  But rejected by them because they did not want to catch what he had.  Ridiculed by the people of the city because they treated the lepers lower than vermin.  An even ostracized by the religious leaders as they proclaimed their leprosy was tied to their sin.  Imagine being berated physically, emotionally and spiritually for weeks, months, or even years.  We don’t exactly how long this man was with this agonizing disease but we do know it was long enough that when he went and told the people and church leaders what happened many believed because they knew his condition.  

What does this have to do with Touchless Technology?  We have unknowingly created a bunch of lepers today as we in general have disconnected physically and emotionally.  Just like the leper isolated, lonely and ill repute (the state of being held in low esteem by the public).  The impact of lack of touch and affection, can lead to feelings of isolation, loneliness, and even decreased relationship satisfaction.

Phones and other tech have replaced simple dialogue, conversation and even just being present with others.  Hugs, holding hands, cuddling, and normal physical contact is missing.  And just look at the impact below of what we miss, taken from a summary of studies:

*Emotional connection:
Physical affection like hugs and cuddles releases oxytocin, a hormone associated with bonding and feelings of closeness, which is crucial for men and women to feel connected to their partner. 

*Self-esteem boost:
Receiving affection can significantly enhance a person’s self-esteem and sense of worth. 

*Stress reduction:
Physical touch has been shown to reduce stress levels in men and women. 

*Communication tool:
Affection can be a powerful way to express love and appreciation, even without words. 

Although the technology has Changed Jesus Remains the same.  When we’re isolated and alone; Jesus is always willing  (“I am willing; be cleansed.”) to touch us!!  His touch restores and makes us whole.  

Mark 1:41 Then Jesus, moved with compassion, stretched out His hand and touched him, and said to him, “I am willing; be cleansed.”

Brothers In Christ (BIC) Golf Tournament 

God Loves You, Self Care, Spiritual Food, , , , ,

Thoughts from the weekend…

So, if I had to sum up the weekend I spent at Myrtle Beach for the BIC (Brothers In Christ) Golf Tournament, it would be this: To God Be the Glory. 

This Tournament is about God and golf and how, when these men prioritize God correctly, they can be used to Dive Deeper in our walk with Christ, disciple those looking for encouragement and practical steps, and draw those who are on the verge of dynamically changing their lives. 

Dive Deeper:

Matt 5:6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,

For they shall be filled. When we come together as men, we are a powerful force. When we show up in numbers, the whole world takes notice. (Everyone wanted to know what was happening when these 70 men were together on one accord; they were fearful, frustrated, and then fascinated by our presence in the different courses and restaurants over the weekend). 

When we search for righteousness, the Lord is eager to remind us of what He did to provide it. He reminds us that it is free because He paid the cost and of the power when we walk in it. 

Those who come to fellowship with other like-minded individuals are always blessed. When they are opened to hearing from Christ, they will not be disappointed because He inhabits a group of men who praise and honor Him. This is when we can dive deeper into Jesus. 

Disciple Men: 

Ps 34:8 Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!

There were men at this tournament that were not committee to God. Some were curious about what total commitment looked like, and some were saved brothers who just needed some encouragement & practical steps that would help them apply the word to their everyday lives. They needed men who could walk with them during this short time to build relationships and would take some practical steps with them as they returned home. This is when these men who may work on their gold game pretty regularly can now work on their walk pretty regularly. Discuss practical steps that help produce discipline in areas of life that were missing. 

Lastly,

Drawing Men to Christ:

John 12:32-33 And I, if I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all peoples to Myself.” This He said, signifying by what death He would die.

The consistent focus on Jesus throughout the weekend helps to distinguish the gap of life without Jesus and the eternal promise of hope that only comes with a relationship with Jesus. The real area of passion I could see is the men who showed up just for the golf and to bang out away from home. This is where God is really excited because many of these men were not thinking about Jesus, yet the atmosphere of every event and group setting is to lift up the name of Jesus. When that atmosphere is set, many of these men meet Jesus face to face and have the opportunity to say yes to a God who has been drawing them for some time. 

The week excites me, and I am looking forward to attending in the future and taking a more active role in prioritizing Jesus so that He can execute these three steps in men’s lives. 

Don’t Hold It In…

Emotional, Self Care, Spiritual Food

Pro 29:11 A fool vents all his feelings, But a wise man holds them back.

I think that this scripture at its face value is somewhat of a detriment to us as men. It almost tells us do hold in our feelings.

However, Strongs defines feelings (in Hebrew rûaḥ): from a wind (resemblance of breath); a sensible (or even violent) exhalation; figuratively life or anger; by resemblance spirit (but only of a rational being).

This word only speaks of two types of feeling and in completely opposite ends of the spectrum. The truth is we have many feelings and if we hold them in, it actually makes us more likely to be angry, bitter or frustrated. Solomon was the wisest man next to Jesus but whoever interpreted this for us didn’t do us a real favor.

Now with that being said the word for feelings here is mostly negative so he is smart to tell us not to vent all of those because that causes contention, consternation and sometimes chaos. So while I get the message from Solomon, I wish I would not have taken it so literally.