The Lord’s Guide to Loving Your Spouse

Family Ministry, God Loves You, ,

John 15:9-11 As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”

I was recently talking to the Lord about marriage and I asked Him to give me a fresh word on the topic. When we’ve been walking with Christ for some time we can tend to hear the same verses preached time and time again.  If a preacher gets up and says the topic is marriage, certain scripture immediately come to mind in the Gospels, 1st Corinthians or Ephesians.  So it made me laugh a little when God took me too a familiar, yet out of the box verse that seemingly has nothing to do with marriage…. oh but it indeed has everything to do with it.

John 15 reminds us of Jesus’ words to His followers; we are to look to God’s love for Jesus as our guide and example to see love demonstrated, receive love and most important (especially in marriage), how to love others (Spouse).  We cannot look to the world, the church or even our own parent when it comes to loving our spouses, because:
*The world tends to treat marriage as a romantic comedy, trashy novel or sometimes both.  What do I mean?  There is always a happy ending, even if it means disregarding the sanctity and principles of marriage.  The world has no standard, instead it has numerous different ones and use whichever one suits their desire.
*The Church because although this should be where we go for examples, but unfortunately the church is made up of man and often when you look to man you open yourself up to disappointment.  Today, the numbers are quite discouraging, but more than 50% of these marriages are ending in divorce, there seems to be a huge disconnect!
*Our Parents, even though this is where most of our actions within marriage comes from; whether we want it to or not.  Many have parents that have been married for years, some have endured divorce and others have parents who have never been married.  Even in the best of situations, if we will be honest, there are many things that we’ve seen, experience or even vowed never to do, that we less than ideal examples to follow.  And while we should not blame our parents, because they did not have perfect models to follow either.

However, we do have hope and a guide provided by the Lord Himself. Jesus makes it clear with His own words that His example of how to love was from only one source. “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you,” Jesus loved others as He was loved by his Daddy God.  God’s love for us is amazing, He gave us His very best when we did not deserve it.  God made plans for us (plans to prosper us and give us hope), He made provisions for us and He wrote a book full of love letters for us.  So, we have to first decide if God has loved us like this, which is typically the trickiest thing to do.  If He has then we are to love our spouses in the same manner.

He then encourages us to live, stay and remain in this love, “Now remain in my love.”  The word remain (or abide in the KJV) means to live, dwell or spend your time in God’s love for you.  The most important thing we can do in order to love our spouses is to become saturated in God’s love for us.  I look at it like this, most of us take showers and not baths.  Why?  A shower is much faster, easier, cleaner and focuses maximizing time to do other things.  However, a bath takes much more time, it is more difficult, it can get really messy and is really focuses on you (you feel refreshed when finished).  We do the same with God’s Love, we don’t spend time bathing in it, we allow a little to fall on us so we can get on to other things (there is so much to do).  When we really abide/remain in God’s love for us, our self-esteem is improved, confidence is greater and our trust in God goes through the roof.  We end up filled and are in a much better place to pour out love for our spouses.  When we don’t remain is His love, like I’ve often done, we end up loving out of frustration, disappointment and stress caused by daily life.  Remember; you get out what you put in, so when that is how you’re loving; that is what is being received by those you’re trying to love.  Your spouse is receiving the frustration, disappointment and stress you’re giving in the form of your love.  Did you ever get a gift you did not want 🙂  When we learn to bathe in God’s love for us and get full, we can then effectively love our spouses; and what they receive will become a part of their baths.

How then do we take this bath? Jesus said “If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love.”  Keep and Commands become important words for our understanding.  The word keep means to guard, protect, build a fortress around; this is something very valuable.  The word Commands in this verse denotes a prescription, just like what a doctor would give you to heal an illness.  This prescription is the word of God, the bible the precept upon precept that Jesus came in human form to display for all to see or receive in written form; it is the “Prescription of Life.”  When we guard and protect God’s prescription for life we bathe in God’s love and are fulfilled.

Jesus told us this for one reason “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete (full),” and if you receive this for your marriage today, I declare you marriage will be full of the Joy of the Lord!!!

Seed to the Sower

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“2 Cor 9:10 Now may He who supplies seed to the sower, and bread for food, supply and multiply the seed you have sown and increase the fruits of your righteousness, while you are enriched in everything for all liberality, which causes thanksgiving through us to God”

February is usually a very busy month for us, there is Valentine’s Day, our oldest has his birthday and Vanessa and I celebrate our wedding anniversary.  This year there were additional things that happened which caused the month to be extra busy and significant (some of which you’ll be hearing about very soon).

Already we’ve been expecting huge things for 2016, both as a family and individually.  We’ve also heard the same message resonating from our church.  Recently, as a church, we sowed a seed of expectancy and our family decided that we would sow a significant seed based on what we were believing for. This scripture in 2nd Corinthians could not be more appropriate.

We are thankful that God provided the seed for us to plant.  There were many days that our seed, though planted with the same heart, would not have come close in size.  Therefore, we know that the Lord supplied us with this seed (He who supplies seed to the sower).  How fitting then that he would not only give us the seed to sow but then turn around and multiply what he gave us (multiply the seed you have sown and increase the fruits of your righteousness).

Let me just share with you about how Jesus has already begun increasing the fruits of His righteousness in our lives.  Favor is a fruit (tangible evidence; visible or invisible) of His righteousness that we’ve seen and experienced only hours after sowing our seed.  We’ve been looking for some time for a home to purchase so we can finally become settled here in the Houston area.  Just hours after sowing our seed, we received multiple text and phone calls about a home that we were interested in. We did not even know about it until late in the evening because the phone was in the other room.  Once we received the messages we then gave an offer and were excited that the home could be ours. Full of hope, only to find out that someone else had bought the home before our offer was received.  Somewhat saddened, because it was now the second time it had happened to us, but “We trust in our God, and through His unfailing love, we will not be shaken.” We trust and believe that God still had our best in mind.

So the following day was our anniversary, and we had a few minutes to ourselves for a change (doesn’t happen often with three kids).  As we enjoyed the day and each other God’s favor was working behind the scenes.  Long story short, the other purchaser had a hiccup, we had another opportunity to purchase the home at significantly less than the list price. The offer we made was accepted and now we are waiting to close on our new and final home.  How awesome is Jesus……Amazingly Awesome!!

God heard our prayer and desires, gave us the seed, placed it on our heart to sow it, multiplied the seed and His fruit in our lives, He then blessed us with the very thing we had been believing Him for from the get-go.  Amazingly Awesome

Love 13 Years Later

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1 Cor 13:4-8 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

God’s love; He never gave up on me!!  For the last 13 years Vanessa and I have never given up on each other.   Praise The Lord we said “I Do” 2/22/2003. 

Happy Anniversary Babe, I Love You

Mark J.O

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I’ve got my upgrade, Have you?

The Reviews are phenomenal:

“One thing I know: that though I was blind, now I see.” John 9:25

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Phil 4:13

“And he who had died came out bound hand and foot with graveclothes, and his face was wrapped with a cloth.” John 11:44

 

Do you need the upgrade??   Download the Holy Spirit at John 3:16 or Rom 10:9-10

 

Get Jesus Now!!!

Familiar Worship

Giving Thanks, God Loves You

John 4:23 But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him.

A few weeks ago during Praise & Worship at church (I told you about that earlier), the Lord took me back to the days of old and reminded me of my love of worship. I was singing a song that we’ve sung numerous times; the words were on the screen and etched in my mind. The problem was the song was great to sing, but that is not why we’re signing it. The reason God took me back was because I found myself singing the words to the song, yet not singing them to the God who loves me so much. True worship is to “worship the Father in spirit and truth.” One thing I’ve always done during praise and worship is change up certain words of the songs, to take it from second to first person. That was always something that helps me intentionally keep my focus on Jesus. I can then sing them as if I wrote them myself specifically to sing to my closest friend. I would change the We to I or the His/Him to You (just a couple so you get the picture).

This is just one small way I keep the worship from becoming too familiar. I’ve heard my wife use the saying, “Familiarity Breeds Contempt,” when speaking about how easy it is to neglect and disparage the very thing that used to be “sacred.” The very words used to lift up the name of the Lord can become familiar and seem like just words. It sounds horrible doesn’t it? I’ve got a suggestion for you should you ever find yourself going thru the motions during praise and worship. Don’t waste time feeling condemned, because the devil would like nothing less. Instead, be excited that the Jesus loves you so much that He’s willing to remind you how to be a “true worshipers.” He will give you ways to keep His worship fresh thru you, in “in spirit and truth.” Whether it be changing the words while singing or saturating yourself in scripture prior to; so you’re reminded of just how much love God has for you. Whatever you choose just believe God receives it in Jesus name. Now go on and get your worship on…..

Name Dropping

Church Leaders, God Loves You,

Phil 2: 9 Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, 11 and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

 

I was recently in a conversation with a colleague after seeing a picture in his office. The picture was with a former president. I commented and he told me about the encounter, since I also had a picture with the same president, I told my story. What ensued was a battle of name dropping, we both began to tell stories about “important” people we’d met in our lifetime. It was not intentional, it just sort of happened. I realized later in a moment of worship (I hear from the Lord a lot during worship; because He inhabits the praise of His people), that we were putting a great deal of our worth/importance in many of the names we were dropping. Then the Lord gently and graciously reminded me that there is a name greater than all those names we were so excited to share. The name I should have been dropping was Jesus, the name at which every knee shall bow and every tongue should confess.

Philippians reminds us why it is so impactful to name drop the King of Kings, because it is done “to the glory of God the Father.” Rather than try to use the names of others to make yourself look better or to prop us up. Drop the Name of Jesus, who makes all of us better, He loves us and lifts us higher to the Glory of God. He is the only one we need to know J

2016: A Year of Discernment & Vindication Resulting in Blessings

Church Leaders, Spiritual Food,

Each year I look forward to the New Year’s message. It is great to hear how the Lord is speaking to the whole church. It has often been my experience, that the same scripture, principle or theme for the year would be given by God to a number of Pastors I follow, which to me just confirms what God is saying. During Praise & Worship last week God sent me to Chapter 20 verse 16 for 2016. I could not wait to sit down and find this scripture; that is before realizing that there were well over 20 books in the bible with a Chapter 20 and verse 16. However, there are two principles I use when studying scripture; Jesus in the book of John & First Mention. Whenever I want to know something more about Jesus I go to the Gospel to John, this Gospel speaks to the Divine Nature of Jesus. First Mention is when you find a topic first mentioned in the bible, you’ll find God’s original meaning/definition of that topic. So using these principles, I focused on John and Genesis 20:16……are you following yet?

  1. Discernment

John 20:16 Jesus said to her, “Mary!”   She turned and said to Him, “Rabboni!” (which is to say, Teacher).

When I read this I was excited, because I immediately remembered this story. The verse highlights a moment when Mary was in deep despair, after all Jesus had just died and now it seems someone has come in and stolen His body from the grave. Angels were on the scene and had just started a conversation with her, but she could not focus with so many distractions demanding her attention. Jesus was even talking to Mary, attempting to give her peace, but she was so lost in her current circumstances, she had no idea the Lord was talking. “Mary,” a voice pierced thru the chaos and all of the noise, now she was finally able to clearly hear and discern the source of this dynamic voice. It was Jesus. Immediately, everything changed, the Prince of Peace calmed all of Mary’s anxiety and pain, giving her a completely new perspective on her circumstances. Everything that Jesus taught her had now become clear.  Just like Mary, in 2016 we will be able to hear Jesus thru all of the chaos in our own lives. We will discern His guidance and direction like we’ve never experienced before. Where we’ve been hesitant to make major decisions, in 2016 our path will be made plain. Major project milestones that needed to be met in 2015, the Lord will make our next steps clear and He will complete what was started. Where we’ve been afraid to make moves; Jesus will make it Clear in the New Year…… (you know you have to make it rhyme ;). Get ready for clarity in 2016.

Jesus will be our JEHOVA-RAAH (Our Shepard who tenderly leads us, Loves us and will keep us safe)

  1. Vindication

Gen 20:16 Then to Sarah he said, “Behold, I have given your brother a thousand pieces of silver; indeed this vindicates you before all who are with you and before everybody.”

Genesis tells the story of one of the times Abraham, in fear lied to protect himself while leaving his family at risk (Abimelech, the King of Gerar, could have easily made Sarah one of his wives and took her away from Abraham). Read the story, he did this twice, but don’t get is twisted Abraham is still the Father of our Faith (Thank Goodbess receiving Jesus’ righteousness does not depend on our actions).  Even though Abraham made a poor decision, God stepped in to protect Sarah from any harm, then He turned around to vindicate and  exceedingly bless them both. The word vindicate depicts a coverings or a veiling; I’d like to think of it as our own suit of armor…..can you say a robe of righteousness.

Have you made a bad choice?  One that put your entire family at risk? Maybe you are living out the ramifications of those choices. Guess what?  God knew us while we were still in our mother’s womb.  So He knows every thought we think and every choice we make well before we’ve ever considered it. He will protect us from harm and in 2016 He will vindicate us!!  That thing you’ve been accused of, Jesus is your lawyer and will argue your case.  He will ultimately turn the tables on your accuser.  He will cause those seeking you harm, to restore all that was lost and even more. You see Abimelech, after Abraham  lied to him and put his family in jeopardy, gave Abraham a thousand pieces of silver. Now how much that is worth in today’s dollars has been estimated by different sources to be anywhere from $500 to $200,000. Regardless, Abraham was blessed immensely by the very one that he feared would destroy his family. God will use your enemies to bless you; and in 2016 we will begin to see this happen in our lives.

Jesus will be our JEHOVAH-NISSI (Our Banner, a Banner of Love and Protection).

Recap: While there are so many powerful chapter 20 verse 16’s in the bible. I sense the Lord leading many of us to the Book of John and Genesis, preparing us for the New Year.   2016 will be a year of Discernment & Vindication resulting in tangible blessings. Next year we will see and experience the “Lord our Shepherd” as depicted in Psalm 23. I don’t know about you but I’m excited for the 2016!!!