Mark 10:7 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife,8 and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh.9 Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Yesterday marked nine years of marriage to my beautiful wife Vanessa. We have been blessed tremendously during the past 3204 days to include three wonderful children, health and employment, along with so many other intangibles. We have had two major moves and are currently preparing for the next one. I can honestly say that I love her more today than I did the day I said “I do.” That being said, let me make this crystal clear: everyday has not been a bed of roses. There have been many days that have felt more like a bed of nails (like in the old Kung-Fu movies); but there has been a common thread throughout our marriage that has knitted our hearts closer than we ever would/could.
I’ve quoted a familiar scripture from the Gospels. The content is very important as God has shared a few things that have helped us succeed thus far in marriage.
1. Roles: For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. When we made up in our minds we were getting married we determined that our current roles (son, daughter, sister or brother) had to change. We had to prioritize our new roles as husband and wife, and by doing so, ensure that only the Holy Spirit is an outside decision maker in our marriage. Ultimately, doing this did not make everyone happy, but we set a precedent for the health of our marriage.
2. Realization: and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. In man’s economy 1+1=2 and in most marriages it sometimes equals 6 or more, while in God’s economy 1+1=1. We had to realize that Jesus has to have center stage in our marriage so when we married we became one. Achieving this is not easy and definitely something I started learning early on. There is another important realization: Vanessa and I are a team, not enemies. It’s difficult to remember at times but after the emotions explode, we have to fall back and remember that we are a team. This way we battle the enemy (Satan) that is out to destroy everything we stand for and not each other.
3. Reality: Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Our reality is that our marriage was put together by God and we are not allowed to break it up. Our role in this marriage is to trust the Lord more than ever and listen to Him about how to stay together. We need to know when to push and when to give; when to shout and when to listen; when to love and when to fight; when to get help and when to keep it in house. Our reality is that marriage is not easy but with God all things are possible, including our marriage. This is your reality also. Your marriage may be tough, but with God even your marriage can succeed.
These are a few things that have and continue to help us, but God will give you your keys to success. We continue to love one another after nine years, but we have so much further to go. As we continue to live and trust these keys God has given us we will see many more years together. We are praying that you allow God to do the same in your marriage. As we celebrate our anniversary today we also celebrate God’s goodness and presence in our marriage. God bless you all.