I cannot help but be grateful that despite all my shortcomings; my Failures; my Anger; my Pain, my Sin; all the areas in which I fail to be a lovable spouse…Jesus Loves Me Unconditionally. Jesus is the Bridegroom and we the Church are His Bride. He will never leave us, no matter what we’ve done (or failed to do). He will never walk away once He’s made a commitment to us the Bride of Christ (His Bride/His Spouse).
Ephesians 5:22-28: Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.
Husbands we are called to love our wives like Christ loves us (Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church). That is HARD!!!! So why would he tell us that??? How in the world could we possibly love our wives like that? The key is that there is no way in the World that we can. We will never be able to love our wives on our own (in our own strength, power or intelligence) and when we don’t; We Fail 10 times out of 10. We can only love like that IN CHRIST!! By Jesus’ Name; Jesus’ Blood; Jesus’ Power and Jesus’ Strength.
Men hate failing at anything; it’s just not how we’re wired. We want to Win Win Win no matter what…. The very thought of failing pushes and drives men to be great…that is until the point in which failure is evident. That drive that burns a fire in most men can become extinguished when failure is imminent. When men fail and fail and fail very often it becomes easier to just leave that dream or situation than to continue to battle knowing failure could be looming. Many men leave failing marriages because they are frustrated; bitter and angry. Most are not bad men; they are just HURT men and feel they are left with nothing more than the last-ditch effort to both relieve their own pain while inflicting Pain on the one person they believe to be the culprit (of all their hurt).
Men, by nature are fixers; when they run into a problem the first thing they want to do is fix it. That is who MEN are!!! The issue in marriage that most men are encountering; We cannot fix our marriages AND THERE LIES OUR FRUSTRATION!!!! This failure is one many men are walking away from. The is only one way we will ever fix our marriage and that is thru Christ; the only way to do that is to TRUST HIM IN OUR MARRIAGES.
- Trust God: We must at some point stop trying what we know to fix things and believe in the God who saved us and blessed our marriage vows. Mark:7-9 ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” The text tells us that two become one & no man should separate what God put together. Trust God with Your Failure….We see failure and God see’s learning opportunity or teaching moment. God constantly wants us to be more like Him. In that He often takes opportunities to teach us what His Love for us feels like; what it means to love like Christ. God’s plans are not for your harm but to prosper you (Jer 29:11). However, it will take TRUST in God to fix what we cannot. Are you capable of trusting Jesus like that??? If not don’t worry just pray; ask the Lord to help your unbelief (Mark 9:24). God want’s our marriages restored; but it will take TRUST.
- Stay IN: We can’t leave and hope Jesus works it out for us. We’ve got to Stay and fight for what God put together (Mark:7-9). It is a tough choice to walk away from your marriage and family. However, it is much tougher to STAT IN that marriage and work to fix the many neglected issues. This recovery of the painful areas of marriage can and will cause more pain while attempting to correct to the failures. The only way these changes can me made in a broken marriage is that We STAY IN it. We cannot leave, and it work on it at the same time.
Before someone question this with respect to physical abuse; I absolutely believe that any person being physically abused should leave and find protection immediately. Then pray and ask God to get that spouse the necessary help whether it be counseling or prison or a mixture of both.
Brother’s Hang In There and fight. Now what you may have to realize is that you might need new weapons to fight with. This fight might have to be won but reading books, going to personal and couple Counseling. You may have to seek out different voices on protecting marriage, reconciliation, conflict resolution and forgiveness. The tools you’ve been using have not been working so go to Jesus and ask Him for Wisdom (James 1:5). When You STAY IN God will change either the Situation or You and either way making your current circumstance better.