Pro 18:22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD.

Yesterday we celebrated my wife and mother of our three children on a day when many other Mothers were being celebrated worldwide. However, throughout planning her weekend, I could not help but reflect on just how GOOD we had it. She is a wonderful wife and phenomenal mother. 

As you get older, hopefully, you get a little wiser along the way. I realize that one of the things that God appreciates the most from His children is that they allow Him opportunities to bless them. A part of those blessings come in the form of Wisdom, Grace, and Peace. When Solomon asked the Lord for Wisdom, He not only gave Solomon Wisdom, but He gave Him way more than he could have ever imagined. David asked God for guidance, but he also asked for continued mercy (Grace). God gave them both in abundance. Jesus prayed for and gave us His peace, a peace that passes all of our understanding. 

Why am I talking about this; two reasons I would say that due to recent growth emotionally I’ve come to appreciate people that I did not always appreciate correctly and being confident that God wants me to ask Him for more of what I need (and not to be timid in asking). This brings me to today’s subject. Something that I found which was good, really good!! My wife and I met over 21 years ago, and while I knew early on that, she was a “Good Thing,” however, it was honestly not until recently that I came to appreciate her totality. Much of that appreciation came from the revelation of myself and God’s love and guidance for me. This revelation opened my eyes to even more of my wife’s gifts, which I often fought but realized are truly beneficial to me. So, with what I’ve learned, let’s talk about this very familiar verse.

Find A Wife: He who finds a wife. Fella’s, there comes a point where we have to stop looking for a hookup, or a companion, or a booty call. We need more and God wants more for us. God said in Genesis, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Yes, when you are saved the Holy Spirt is always with you; however, God created us and knew that we do not do well independently. He is relational, and He created us to be relational. This being the first relationship He created, there is a particular importance to it. The man who desires a wife should Find one. Find in the dictionary means to recognize or discover; a discovery of something valuable.  This means that finding takes some effort, it takes great insight, and it takes knowing what you are looking for and being able to detect a counterfeit. Finding this blessing will take an eagle eye and some due diligence, but it will be worth it in the end.    

Find What’s Good: finds a good thing. This is what I came to appreciate recently. Like vegetables, medicine, or even exercise, each is very good for you but may not always be pleasing, and it may taste nasty, leave a scar, or even make you sour the next few days. Therefore, you have to find the Good. There were several reasons I married my wife (if I recall, I had 18 listed), but just like me (each of us), I did not necessarily enjoy or appreciate some things. However, God knew the things that I needed to make me better. I spent a good bit of time being frustrated, asking her to change, or even resenting some things that I now see were exactly what I needed to help me grow, realize my shortfalls, and see the benefit for our entire family.  

Find Your Favor: And obtains favor from the LORD. You must get, acquire, or secure (obtain) the Favor God has for you. Solomon, who should know about having wives, tells us that the one who finds a wife obtains favor from the LORD. The LORD used here is Yahweh, the One True God, Eternal and Self Existent One; this is Who your Favor is coming from. God’s Favor is abundant, and it is precious, but it also must be secured. This, I feel is the extra that we sometimes miss; God gives us Favor but this favor we must “protect against threats or make safe; even attach firmly so that it cannot be moved or lost.” This means that the Favor obtained from finding a wife will be attacked and will be stolen if not protected. The enemy hates marriage and will always attack it. We have to fight for it and not fight the one in it with you. 

We often battle and become tired in the fight, but it’s in our weariness that the spouses turn on each other rather than fight the enemy attacking their marriage together. The same Solomon who tells us about the favor tells us also how to secure it; Eccl 4:12 Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.  We cannot fight each other; we must fight together (two can withstand him), and it’s only when we do that, that God fights with us. There is something to be said about the two becoming one; the two actually become 3, and that team is not quickly broken.  

Brothers, Find your Good Thing; Appreciate your Good Thing; then Fight with your Good Thing.